Tag Archives: dad

Is Counting At Your Kids To Make Them Obey You Hurting Or Helping Them?

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countingatyourkids

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know what I’m talking about.

“Krissy, I already told you twice to put that down and get in the car, we’re late. One…Two…Two and half…”

Now, I’m not an Anti-Counting Nazi or anything, but let me share with you why Holly and I are not “counters.”

#1. It is reasonable to set the standard for your children to obey you the first time. By asking twice or counting, we are teaching our kids that they don’t have to obey the first time. Instead, they can wait for mom or dad to get really angry or so serious that they start to count. So that’s not good. If first-time obedience is not a priority for your family, I encourage you to make it one. For us, it is the standard we are always working towards and responding off of.

#2. Counting is flippin’ draining for mom and dad. In your discipline and life of obedience with your kids, you should always avoid any behavior that drains energy from you. Is growing our kids hard work? Yes, but there is good hard work and bad hard work. Good hard work bears fruit over time in your children (as they grow in responsibility and self-control) and is life-GIVING. Bad hard work is the kind that sucks life out of you as YOU carry the majority of the burden of life for your kids and they don’t mature – they actually become more dependant and self-centered over time.

#3. “Counters”often don’t follow up with whatever the heck happens at “Three.” And when they do, it is often a burst of anger. Both of those responses are equally unhelpful to the maturing of our kids (not to mention it is really like a time-bomb for our frustration that WE are counting down to!). Lack of follow-through or outbursts of anger don’t help. Or the other threat, “Okay, we’re leaving without you.” C’mon, you’re not really going to leave your child.

Check out the other videos and posts on the site for what you CAN do to develop obedience in your child if you’re done being a “counter.” Like this one.

YOU CAN DO IT!

All the best as we start a new year together…

Dean

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SAVE ME FROM MY KIDS! (How To Survive Winter Break Without Losing Your Mind)

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winter break with kids

You know what I’m talking about. The kids are freaking sugared up, whining and wasted from sleepovers and late night parties, full blown cabin fever has set in, and the amount of movies, electronics, video games and i- everythings are turning them into zombified psychopaths.

Or is it just me?

Here are some quick tips on how to increase the peace.

#1. QUIET TIME AFTER LUNCH: this is one of our best hidden gems. After lunch, break the kiddos up and send them to their rooms (or another quiet place) for a specific amount of time – I use a timer and set it for 45 min or an hour. The RULES: only reading, no games, cell phones, TV, music. Nothing. ONLY reading. Some times we let them draw or write as well. But the idea is to simplify their souls for a time and allow them to “reboot” and “realign” their hearts and souls. Maybe some of them will even fall asleep! The other bonus to this is a patch of quiet time for you (wink).

#2. OUTSIDE PLAY: this may seem like, duh, but it is surprising how little kids play outside these days. Well, it’s even more important over winter break! Get those zombies outside! Now I know that for many of you it’s snowing or freezing cold – I get it. But do whatever it takes to get some fresh air and physical exercise in those little bods. And here’s another key in how to do it (because your kids most likely will protest at first): get up and go out to play WITH them! Not only is it important for you to get some exercise, it will create bonding memories for the whole family.

#3. CRAFTS, BOARD GAMES, & CREATIVE ACTIVITIES: the key to this is simple – when our kids are PROACTIVE with activities versus PASSIVE, their level of engagement increases and their attitudes have a greater shot at changing for the better. I don’t have any science or social data to prove this outside of my own experience, but I can tell you that playing Legos or building a fort outside or in the living room with sheets and pillows rejuvenates your child’s soul in a way that watching a movie or playing a video game on their iPad can never do. And here comes the success tip once again: it’s better if you can make the time to do this WITH your kiddos, not just bark at them to go and figure it out themselves.

I know you’re tired. So am I.

Make a plan. Stick to it. FORCE YOURSELF to do this with your kids. I know you’d rather pass out on the couch, but you’ll be happier and healthier if you PUSH forward with these simple ideas.

And so will your kids.

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“Turning Your Child’s Selfish Tears Into Thanksgiving in 30 Seconds”

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You need a quick solution to help turn that sour attitude into a thankful heart?

Well, here it is. 

I use this all the time with my kids (to help it get into their minds so that they can eventually do this exercise on their own without me). It’s simple, but so powerful.

And you can use it in your life too!

Like It. Share It. Practice It.

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“Stop Feeling Guilty As a Parent With This One Simple Revelation”

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You ever find yourself battling GUILT, DEPRESSION, or ANGER regarding your “performance” as a parent?

“I’m a horrible parent.”

“Nothing’s working.”

“I suck at this.”

We all experience these thoughts and emotions from time to time, especially when things aren’t going well with our kiddos.

But here’s something you NEED TO UNDERSTAND if you’re going to successfully navigate through these difficult times.

You can do it, friends.

Aloha,

Dean

 

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“The Secret Motivation Boost For Doing The Tough Stuff As A Parent”

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Are you tired, depressed, or feeling like giving up as a parent?

Are you struggling with holding the course and following through with discipline? Especially when it seems like nothing’s working!

Well, here’s one extremely PRACTICAL THING I do that helps me break through the despair and frustration.

Because the truth is that if we can’t find the MOTIVATION WITHIN US to be good parents, then all the training and teaching on parenting won’t matter, will it?

Check out this quick vid on the secret I use to motivate me through the tantrums, tiredness and marathon of parenting.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Dean

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“The Magic Phrase That Will Ignite Obedience In Your Child’s Mind & Heart”

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Wouldn’t it be great if there was a “magic phrase” that would immediately ignite a cycle of thoughtful obedience in your child or teen?

Well, there is.

I seriously LOVE this phrase and it can be applied in almost any situation, anytime, anywhere. And it’s not sassy or sarcastic, it’s a super-empowering phrase that will challenge and equip your child to become a responsible thinker and emotionally-intelligent young adult.

Check it out:

 

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