Tag Archives: advice for parents

Is Counting At Your Kids To Make Them Obey You Hurting Or Helping Them?

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countingatyourkids

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know what I’m talking about.

“Krissy, I already told you twice to put that down and get in the car, we’re late. One…Two…Two and half…”

Now, I’m not an Anti-Counting Nazi or anything, but let me share with you why Holly and I are not “counters.”

#1. It is reasonable to set the standard for your children to obey you the first time. By asking twice or counting, we are teaching our kids that they don’t have to obey the first time. Instead, they can wait for mom or dad to get really angry or so serious that they start to count. So that’s not good. If first-time obedience is not a priority for your family, I encourage you to make it one. For us, it is the standard we are always working towards and responding off of.

#2. Counting is flippin’ draining for mom and dad. In your discipline and life of obedience with your kids, you should always avoid any behavior that drains energy from you. Is growing our kids hard work? Yes, but there is good hard work and bad hard work. Good hard work bears fruit over time in your children (as they grow in responsibility and self-control) and is life-GIVING. Bad hard work is the kind that sucks life out of you as YOU carry the majority of the burden of life for your kids and they don’t mature – they actually become more dependant and self-centered over time.

#3. “Counters”often don’t follow up with whatever the heck happens at “Three.” And when they do, it is often a burst of anger. Both of those responses are equally unhelpful to the maturing of our kids (not to mention it is really like a time-bomb for our frustration that WE are counting down to!). Lack of follow-through or outbursts of anger don’t help. Or the other threat, “Okay, we’re leaving without you.” C’mon, you’re not really going to leave your child.

Check out the other videos and posts on the site for what you CAN do to develop obedience in your child if you’re done being a “counter.” Like this one.

YOU CAN DO IT!

All the best as we start a new year together…

Dean

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“Turning Your Child’s Selfish Tears Into Thanksgiving in 30 Seconds”

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You need a quick solution to help turn that sour attitude into a thankful heart?

Well, here it is. 

I use this all the time with my kids (to help it get into their minds so that they can eventually do this exercise on their own without me). It’s simple, but so powerful.

And you can use it in your life too!

Like It. Share It. Practice It.

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